Tuesday, October 19, 2021
Your natural communication style influences everything.
It can keep you in a miserable job or cause you to tolerate a less than satisfying relationship.
On the other hand, it might cause you to quit your job or a relationship on the spot, then have you regretting that you didn’t think through it first.
Real person, Real Story
Julie was in a miserable job. She wasn’t happy. She knew it, and so did her boss. That’s when I got the call, asking if I would be Julie’s coach. My job was to coach her up or coach her out.
As a Box Circle, Julie was not one to even think about change unless she had the support and approval of others, as well as the “10-step plan.” Besides, to be frank, Julie’s Box was rather stubborn.
She couldn’t think of change as “wising up and moving up.” She could only think of it as “giving up.”
Her Box was used to problem solving, hanging in there to the bitter end, and her Circle naturally put the needs of others before her own.
Julie literally said to me, “I hate to think about what this change would mean to my co-workers. They are already overloaded, and if I leave, I know they will have to do my work, too. Besides my daughter is in middle school, and I am not sure change would be the best thing for her.”
Jodi was not a natural risk-taker, and she did not enjoy change that came with the unknown.
After taking the Shapes Assessment, she realized that she would have to learn to be comfortable with the uncomfortable, because change would be her key to success.
Through Shape Flexing, Julie got more comfortable with not knowing every step, just the first step. From there, she would look for the next step. It took courage, self-confidence, a new “lens” and the reminder that she was smart enough to solve problems one step at a time. Besides, she had plenty of friends to help support her.
Of course, change doesn’t typically happen overnight, and when there’s a gap between where you are and where you have decided to go, doubt can creep in.
This was the case with Julie. Her Shapes Assessment revealed she was a primary Box. Not only did Julie tend to be a perfectionist, but she also feared failure. She would say, “What if I make the change and I don’t like it.” Or “What if I make a mistake?”
It’s OK to be unsure, but it’s not OK to stay in continuous state of “I don’t know.” Because when you are unsure, and you don’t know, this is where you get stuck.
But when you understand “what got you here, doesn’t necessarily get you where you want to go,” that’s when you start to break free.
In Julie’s case this meant that her Shape Strengths of Box and Circle would not be enough to successfully navigate her way through change.
She would need to learn the art of Shape Flexing, using the Shapes of Rectangle, Squiggle, and Triangle.
If you know the Shapes language this makes perfect sense, because you know using the Rectangle will help open your mind, your Squiggle will cause you to think differently, and your Triangle will make the decision with confidence. Besides, it’s important to remember that decisions don’t have to be permanent, and right or wrong, you can always work to make it right.
Shape Flexing and Strategically Shaping her plan were two of the things that helped Julie the most to be her own Driver of Change.
Julie made the decision to create her exit strategy. Her initial move wound up being just a stepping-stone. But it was the stepping-stone that led to the next stepping-stone, and eventually to a work environment where she felt engaged, valued, understood, and important.
A “stepping-stone path” is defined as something that guides foot traffic. And hence, you take the first step, which provides the clues for the next step, and so forth and so on.
It’s part of navigating your way through change. For some, creating your “stepping-stone path” is the easier part of the journey, but for others, like Julie, it had stopped her in her tracks, feeling stuck, demotivated, and hopeless.
About a year later, Julie told me, “Shapes literally changed my life.”
She shared the stepping-stones of her journey, and that she had finally reached the place she was meant to be.
“You’re the right person. Are you in the right place?”
Julie had found the right place for her. She had accepted a Vice President Role in Communications, closed on her new house, in a new city, which had a school with a volleyball program that was just right for her daughter.
“If I hadn’t taken the Shapes Assessment, I would probably still be miserable in the same job, or worse, I might have gotten fired from my job,” Julie told me. “Every time I got uncomfortable with change; I would recommit to using all five Shapes that helped create the right path for me.”
What change do you need to make?
To learn more about how your Shapes naturally respond to change, or how you would naturally manage or lead change, take the Shapes Assessment using the access code shapetalk to get 20% off.
NOTE: Susan Hite is the President of Hite Resources, Inc. since 2001 and is the creator and founder of Susan’s Train Your Brain Series,™ 7 principles for living a more peaceful, balanced, and productive life. About 20 years ago, and by coincidence, Susan was introduced to a communication tool called PsychoGeometrics™. Susan wanted to learn more, becoming a licensed and certified Subject Matter Expert of PsychoGeometrics™, and sharing how to use PsychoGeometrics™ to strengthen communication with hundreds of companies and thousands of people from more than 60 countries worldwide. In June of 2021, Susan bought PsychoGeometrics™, featuring five Shapes, representing five different behaviors that can be used to link behavior to results.