NOTE: This blog is written by Harris Hite, a member of the PsychoGeometrics Team and part of ShapeTalk with Susan Hite.

Have you ever worked towards a goal only to be disappointed when you finally achieved it?

Often you work so hard, imagining what it will be like when you cross the finish line. You visualize yourself with arms in the air, celebrating your victory, and yet it’s nothing like you thought it would be. 

So, why is that? Society has a way of telling us what success should look like and how it should make us feel. But until you create your own definition of success, crossing that finish line will never be as fulfilling as you dream it will be. In fact, this disappointment can lead to a lack of motivation, discouraging you from setting new goals. Without this awareness, you may be asking yourself, “What am I doing wrong?” The truth is you may not be doing anything wrong except trying to pursue something that is not right for you.

In your search for success, it is important to take the pressure off, break from the status quo, and tell yourself you are not in a race with others. In fact, you don’t have to run in a race at all. You can chart your own course.

Embracing the notion that there is more than one way to look at success, here are three things to consider: 

1. Success is not what others tell you it has to be or should be. You get to decide.
2. Discover what inspires you and then motivates you to be successful.
3. Inspiration is external and motivation is internal.

Throughout my life, success was determined by what I saw, what I heard, and what I was told. It wasn’t until later that I realized I could use what I saw, what I heard, and what I was told to create my own definition of success. The fact that we are all influenced as to what success should be doesn’t necessarily mean we ignore the influencers. Instead, it’s wise to have an open mind. Watch, listen, and learn all you can, then “pick and choose” what’s right for you.

It starts with self-awareness. Knowing more about yourself, your traits, your behaviors, and the way you interact with others, will help you determine your natural strengths and challenges. Typically, your success comes from your strengths. Identify your strengths and you will be one step closer to knowing what success can be for you.

Early on, this not something I really understood, but I have come to realize that success for me, at least in the way I choose to earn my living, comes down to three things:

1. What I am great at doing.
2. What I love to do, which is usually what I am great at doing.
3. What someone is willing to pay me to do that I am great at doing and love to do!

Sounds simple, but it truly is the key to defining what success means to me and helping me set my goals accordingly.

The question is, “What does this mean to you?”

You are the driver. You know your track record better than anyone, you know your strengths and challenges, and you control your personal scorecard. Remember, the journey can change. Sometimes to keep your motivation alive, you must rediscover your inspiration, or even find a new inspiration. And that’s OK. It doesn’t mean your motivation has to change. The goal is still the same, it’s all a matter of how you want to get there.

You are the expert of you.