We all experience stress from time to time, and many of us share similar symptoms when we are stressed. Some of these shared symptoms, according to the Cleveland Clinic, are physical, emotional, and mental. They include exhaustion, headaches, high blood pressure, digestive problems, chest pain, muscle tension, a weakened immune system, anxiety, irritability, depression, panic attacks, and sadness.

But how do these symptoms show up according to your Shape? In this post, I will focus on the Rectangle.

The Rectangle Under Stress

Given that the Rectangle represents the traits, behaviors, and interactions of a person experiencing a major life change, or in some cases major life changes all occurring at the same time, it’s easy to see why just being in Rectangle mode could be extremely stressful. 

Stress in and of itself is not a bad thing. In fact, one could argue that stress is a needed form of tension or pressure. For example, consider a guitar, harp, or violin. All are musical instruments with strings “under pressure.” On each instrument there are ways to tighten the strings by adding more pressure or loosen the strings by decreasing the amount of tightness. To play beautiful music, each of these instruments needs just the right amount of pressure, tension, tightness, and stress on its strings. Too much stress on the strings can cause a high pitched, squeaky, annoying sound, and may eventually cause the strings to break resulting in no music at all. Not enough stress on the strings can cause a dull, raspy, lifeless sound in its music. And so it is with us and our Shapes. No one size fits all, especially when it comes to communicating effectively, so I can’t say exactly how much stress is “just the right amount for you.” But what I can say is that it’s important to be aware of what causes your Shape to be super tight, anxious, or annoying, and what causes your Shape to be dull, lacking energy, or just barely “going through the motions” of life. 

What every person wants to find is their “Sweet Spot,” which lies somewhere between too much stress and not enough stress, so that your Shape can communicate beautifully and effectively! This is especially tricky for the person experiencing Rectangle change because not only do they have to manage their primary and secondary Shapes under typical everyday stress, but now under the additional stress that stems from a major life change.

Remember, Rectangle mode is triggered by a major change such as getting married, having a baby, moving to a new house, taking a new job, being laid off from a job, getting divorced, living the single life or as the single parent, or taking care of an aging or sick parent. Any one of these changes can create major life-changing stress on top of everyday “typical” stress, doubling the pressure and tension on relationships, families, teams, and overall effective communication. 

Note: The Rectangle Shape under stress is stress personified! It is the person who is experiencing a major life change. Although this period of life can bring excitement and variety, it also brings the stress of adaptation to new circumstances and situations. 

How to Identify a Rectangle Under Stress 

As with the other four Shapes, when stress emerges, the negative traits of the Shape become the most visible. In the case of the Rectangle, the following behaviors intensify:

1. Confusion. This is the most characteristic of the Rectangular Shape. Whereas in the past, this person was much more confident and sure of themselves, now they seem incapable of making the smallest decision. The Rectangle will “waffle” from day to day. Today, they are sure that this is the thing to do. Tomorrow, they change their mind. The Rectangle under stress will be forgetful, unsure, and distracted. Although to some degree, this is characteristic of the Shape itself, these traits will intensify under stress. 

2. An increased loss of self-confidence and/or self-esteem. The longer it continues, the more stress that will develop. 

3. Extreme mood swings. Under stress, these emotions range from anger to joy and can emerge within seconds of one another. They can be triggered by small things, sometimes seeming to have no basis in reality. Day-to-day moods tend to be inconsistent and unpredictable. 

4. Gullible. During this searching, growing, changing period, the Rectangle is also the most vulnerable and suggestible.

Note: The most positive Shape for the Rectangle under stress is the Circle. This understanding and compassionate person is willing to help and listen. It is actually to the Rectangle’s benefit to seek out Circles during this transitional period.

Rectangles Feel Most Comfortable and Least Stressed When… 

1. They are learning; getting just the right amount of information. Too much can be overwhelming. Too little can cause heightened anxiety.

2. They feel heard and understood, even if there is still a lack of clarity.

3. They sense the excitement of change within themselves, rather than the fear of change.

4. They can visualize positive outcomes as a result of change.

5. They have the freedom to explore themselves through alternative careers and relationships. 

6. They are financially secure enough to ride out the changes. 

7. There is a healthy balance in their lives giving them the time for both stimulation and reflection. 

8. They are physically and psychologically healthy. 

9. They have a strong and loving support system of friends, family, and associates around them. 

10. They feel safe in a world that will allow them to change. 

If you are a Rectangle, give yourself some grace and seek out a trusted friend, colleague, mentor, or counselor. Working through change, and especially managing change under extreme stress, takes tolerance, acceptance, resilience, and time.

If you are in the role of supporting a Rectangle under extreme stress, or if you work or live with a Rectangle under stress, the single-most important thing you can do is listen. 

If you want to learn more about other PsychoGeometrics resources, including our online DIY modules, upcoming certification online classes, or how we can customize a team-building workshop for your group, feel free to reach out to me directly. Our team truly loves helping people leverage their Shapes for effective and influential communication!

Susan Hite, CEO, PsychoGeometrics, The Science of Behavior - The Art of Communication

susanhite@psychogeometrics.com