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By Susan Hite

Instead of using a letter or letters, a color or colors, or a specific word or list of words, PsychoGeometrics® uses five geometric shapes representing five behaviors to identify your communication style. In this new edition of Communicating Beyond Our Differences – It Is What You Say and How You Say It! you will learn what your Shape says about who you are (traits), what you do (behavior), and how you relate to others (interaction).

It has been 34 years since this book was first written and published. In 2008, it was updated for the second time, and now 15 years later it has been rewritten by Susan Hite, adding new content and updating the remaining content from the original author (1989) and creator of PsychoGeometrics® (1978), Susan E. Dellinger, Ph.D.

As a result of reading this book, you will:

  • Determine your communication style and the communication style of others.
  • Recognize your communication strengths and challenges.
  • Learn to Shape Flex and manage your challenges and accelerate your strengths.
  • Gain insight into why you think, feel, act, worry, plan, work, and live the way you do.
  • Discover why others act, react, and interact the way they do.
  • Understand why you get along with some people better than others.
  • Raise your awareness of Shape Perception and Shape Motivation – positive and negative.
  • Make the hard conversations easier, less awkward, and more productive.
  • Identify what and who causes you the most stress.
  • Learn what you need to embrace, manage, and lead change.
  • Be able to recognize the positive contributions of diversity.
  • Know how to leverage differences to strengthen your relationships, family, team, and communication style whether you are a leader, manager, team member, spouse, parent, manager, or community volunteer.  

All five Shapes are equally important but are not used equally.

One size does not fit all. That's the beauty of PsychoGeometrics.

You don't have to be great at being or using all five Shapes, but you can use all five Shapes to be great (and effective) in your personal and/or professional role(s).

Here's to Communicating Beyond Our Differences with those you live and work with everyday…because It Is What You Say and How You Say It!


  • A note from the author, Susan Hite
  • How PsychoGeometrics Came About
  • 10 Benefits of the Book

Section One: PsychoGeometrics

Chapter 1: An Overview of PsychoGeometrics 27

  • The Shapes Assessment powered by PsychoGeometrics
  • The Scoring Guide
  • Communication Style of each Shape
  • Thinking Style of each Shape
  • The Five Shapes
  • Summary

Chapter 2: The Logical Box

  • A Synopsis of the Box
  • If You Identify with the Box
  • Shape Traits of the Box
  • Shape Perception
  • Shape Flexing
  • Shape Motivation
  • What the Box Needs Most
  • Box Tip

Chapter 3: The Bottom-Line Triangle

  • A Synopsis of the Triangle
  • If You Identify with the Triangle
  • Shape Traits of the Triangle
  • Shape Perception
  • Shape Flexing
  • Shape Motivation
  • What the Triangle Needs Most
  • Triangle Tip

Chapter 4: The Open-Minded Rectangle

  • A Synopsis of the Rectangle
  • If You Identify with the Rectangle
  • Shape Traits of the Rectangle
  • Shape Perception
  • Shape Flexing
  • Shape Motivation
  • What the Rectangle Needs Most
  • Rectangle Tip

Chapter 5: The Caring Circle

  • A Synopsis of the Circle
  • If You Identify with the Circle
  • Shape Traits of the Circle
  • Shape Perception
  • Shape Flexing
  • Shape Motivation
  • What the Circle Needs Most
  • Circle Tip

Chapter 6: The Creative Squiggle

  • A Synopsis of the Squiggle
  • If You Identify with the Squiggle
  • Shape Traits of the Squiggle
  • Shape Perception
  • Shape Flexing
  • Shape Motivation
  • What the Squiggle Needs Most
  • Squiggle Tip

Chapter 7: Shapes Summary

  • Equally Important but not used Equally.
  • Things to Know about all 5 Shapes.
  • What are your Shapes? Here’s what it means for You.

Section Two: Shape Applications

Chapter 8: Shape Perception

Discover how you may “see” others and how others may “see” you. Who you are, what you do, and how you interact with others can be perceived both positively and negatively. Awareness is key.

Chapter 9: Shape Flexing

Learn how to Shape Flex to be more effective in your communication style, while still being true to who you are. Maximize, minimize, manage, or modify your Shapes and Shape Flex to communicate with others in “the way they like to be treated,” and turn any negative perceptions of your traits, behaviors, and interactions into positive ones.

Chapter 10: Shape Motivation

Explore what motivates and demotivates each Shape and how motivation, or lack thereof, impacts relationships, teams, and overall communication.

Chapter 11: Strategic Shaping

A communication process that identifies the Shape order of what to say and the Shape style for how to say it. Especially helpful for Engagement, Retention, Leadership, Team Building, Sales and Service Excellence, Crucial Conversations, Feedback, and Coaching.

Section Three: A Deeper Dive into The Five Shapes

The deeper dive includes more of the Shape behaviors, interactions, and relationships, both personally and professionally, such as:

  • Quick indicators, personal habits, body language, the ideal home, recreation preferences, what to expect from each Shape and parenting tips for all “Shapes” of children.
  • Managing conflict with co-workers, how to please your boss, identifying the Shape of a customer and how to sell to that customer.
  • Each Shape under stress and which Shape(s) cause the most stress for the other Shapes.

Chapter 12: The Stubborn but Dependable Box

  • The Box – An Overview
  • The Box at Home and Personal Relationships
  • The Box at Work and Professional Relationships
  • The Box Under Stress

Chapter 13: The Intimidating but Empowering Triangle

  • The Triangle – An Overview
  • The Triangle at Home and Personal Relationships
  • The Triangle at Work and Professional Relationships
  • The Triangle Under Stress

Chapter 14: The Indecisive but Growing Rectangle

  • The Rectangle – An Overview
  • The Rectangle During Change
  • The Rectangle at Home and Personal Relationships
  • The Rectangle at Work and Professional Relationships
  • The Rectangle Under Stress

Chapter 15: The Sensitive but Inclusive Circle

  • The Circle – An Overview
  • The Circle at Home and Personal Relationships
  • The Circle at Work and Professional Relationships
  • The Circle Under Stress

Chapter 16: The Eccentric but Innovative Squiggle

  • The Squiggle – An Overview
  • The Squiggle at Home and Personal Relationships
  • The Squiggle at Work and Professional Relationships
  • The Squiggle Under Stress

Chapter 17: Epilogue

Chapter 18: Appendix


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